I recently had a client who my heart went out to because a couple of her bridesmaids seemed to have lost touch with the whole purpose and meaning behind being asked to be a bridesmaid. So today’s blog goes out to all of you bridesmaids out there – Brides, pass it on! Whether you’re a sister, cousin, co-worker, or girlfriend – there is a simple code of ethics to follow when it comes to being a bridesmaid.
*Accept an invitation to be a bridesmaid only if you want to be in the wedding. Do not accept out of guilt or because you feel obligated.
*Be available to shop with your bride if she asks. Everyone’s lives are very busy, but this is a special time so find a way to fit in some shopping time. And make it fun – grab lunch or happy hour, or make a day of it and hit the spa when you’re all done.
*Let your bride take the lead when shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Talk to her about her vision before grabbing dresses to try on. Of course you want to look your best, but your bride has an idea in mind regarding the overall look of her wedding. Support her in that vision.
*Don’t complain to your bride about any of the following:
- Your attire
- The gentleman you are assigned to walk with down the aisle
- How much money you’re spending on her shower/parties/bridesmaid dress/wedding gift
- Her family (you know the rule – you can vent about your own mother but no one else can)
- Wearing heels (get a pair and practice at home – unless you get lucky and can go barefoot on the beach)
- The venue of the wedding or rehearsal dinner
- The food at the reception
- The groom (even if he’s your brother or BFF)
*Bring a date to the wedding only if you’re in a relationship. Remember – each head at a wedding is costing the bride/groom/family an average of $100 or more. Before you bring a date, ask yourself if you would buy your date a $100 meal.
*Offer to help all along the way, and be a sounding board, shoulder to cry on, and fun pal for girls’ nights out. If you’re married, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t had your own wedding yet, this is very good karma for your future wedding planning.
*You know that song, All You Need is Love? Make that your motto.
I just realized I could go on and on with this stuff, but I’ll leave it at that so as not to scare anyone away from accepting the honor of being a bridesmaid. 
If you are genuinely excited to be in this wedding, you will likely not have to worry about anything. Just be your naturally wonderful self and have fun celebrating this time in your bride’s life.
Ever dreamed of being on the cover of a magazine? Well your dreams have come true…
I just found this and think it’s such a cute idea for a unique way to allow wedding couples to share about their big event, and about their love story! I think wedding websites are a great idea, but this is something new and fun – and you will probably be the first of your friends to do it. It’s a personalized wedding magazine called Twenty Pages.
The couple who started this business created a magazine for their own wedding a couple years ago to share with their guests stories about them as a couple, and to give everyone information on the upcoming wedding events. It was such a hit that other people wanted something similar, and a new business was born.
From your love story featured in an “exclusive interview” to introducing your wedding party, and even giving your guests maps of the wedding location, this is such a cool way to share information, and a nice keepsake as well.
Most couples these days do an engagement shoot, so if you know you’re going to send out a magazine, you can work with your photographer to make sure you get all the shots you need for your magazine. Always wanted something people will remember for your wedding? This might be it!
The Wright House is another wonderful and unique Arizona wedding venue. It is located just off University Drive in Mesa, Arizona. I can honestly say, first hand, that it is amazing.
The location for wedding ceremonies is just beautiful, and very romantic. The reception room is also very elegant and unique. It is basically a stand-alone, large room that you enter from the court-yard, and it is raised up by a couple steps and has the appearance of a cute house with a wrap-around porch.
The lush foliage and quaint ambiance makes the Wright House the perfect place for a wedding with an intimate feel.
There are countless options for wedding venues in Arizona, from resorts to golf courses to private estates. The Queen Creek Olive Mill is a unique wedding venue right in the East Valley’s backyard. Located at the base of the San Tan Mountains you will find yourself surrounded by olive trees in an intimate setting.
Not only do they accommodate weddings, they have a darling eatery called del Piero with a delicious menu that would be the perfect place to take your bridal party for breakfast or lunch.
Whether you are looking for a special place to get married, or a unique and fun way to celebrate with your bridal party, the Queen Creek Olive Mill is one I definitely recommend. It’s off the beaten path, and a unique venue to take a look at.
Just like texting acronyms like LOL and BTW have become mainstream for most of us, in the world of wedding planners, I’ve had to learn to embrace these little shortenings of bridal party identifiers. As a bride and groom, it’s good to have these in your back pocket to avoid any confusion during the wedding planning process. Here is the rundown of bridal acronyms so that everyone is on the up and up regarding wedding lingo…
B&G: Bride and Groom
BM: Bridesmaid
MOH: Maid (or Matron) of Honor
JRBM: Junior Bridesmaid (the “tweens”)
FG: Flower Girl
MOB: Mother of the Bride
FOB: Father of the Bride
MOG: Mother of the Groom
FOG: Father of the Groom
GM: Groomsman
RB: Ringbearer
BZ: Bridezilla
Just another notch in your pocket of wedding knowledge.
After throwing a bridal shower recently for a dear friend, it got me thinking that there are a lot of people out there who are inexperienced on what to do, and what not to do, at a bridal shower. Whether you’re in the bridal party, or attending as a guest, you’ll want to make sure you’re one of the gals who is in the know about bridal shower etiquette.
Use these tips to help make ensure you are a Super Shower Guest…
Bring a gift. Group gifts are perfectly acceptable. This way, the recipient gets something spectacular while not breaking the bank.
Be gracious. Remember that those hosting the party have opened their home to you, and have spent a lot of time planning and preparing. Just like you learned in kindergarten, say thank you.
Participate. Let’s be honest – nobody loves the games we have play at bridal (and baby) showers. If you are moaning and groaning about having to participate, though, you will make the bride feel bad. So just embrace the silliness and have fun – I’m often surprised about how competitive I end up being and how much I find myself laughing during game time. Seeing her friends and family laughing and having a good time tells the bride that you all are enjoying her shower, and this is important to her.
Watch the Clock. If the shower is supposed to end at 2:00, and it’s 2:15, be one of the first to offer to help clean up. This will hopefully prompt other guests to wind things up as well.
Focus on the bride. It’s easy to go off in your own corner and chat with the people you know, especially if you haven’t seen each other in awhile. It’s also easy to get caught up in conversations about the millions of things going on in your own life. Just remember that the shower is about the bride – she’s so excited to be getting married, so try to gear conversations toward fun things about the couple, their engagement, honeymoon, etc. This will make her feel like everyone is truly there for her.
It’s true, bridesmaids – on top of spending money on your bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair stylist, make-up artist, bridal shower, and bachelorette party, you do have to buy gifts for the happy couple! But how much do you have to spend? Can you buy off the registry or are you supposed to get creative? Can you count a really big shower gift as the wedding gift as well? I hear these questions from girls all the time, so I am here today to answer all these, and help you stick to your own budget while still making a great impression with your gifts to the bride and groom.
Photo courtesy of Platt Photography
**How much money do I have to spend on a shower and wedding gift? As a rule of thumb, you will spend more on a wedding gift than on the shower gift. I would recommend at least $40-$50 on the shower gift, and $100 on the wedding gift. This depends on your own personal budget, though, so don’t panic! If you can’t spend this amount, find someone to go in on a gift with you so that it’s more affordable. There is nothing wrong with group gifts. Personally, I love them because the bride and groom get something fabulous, and no one had to break the bank to buy it for them.
**What kind of gift am I supposed to buy for the bridal shower? Pay attention to the theme of the shower, and that will guide your gift buying. If you’re in the wedding, you are likely helping to plan the shower so make sure you talk to the bride about this. If she wants a personal shower, that means goodies for the bride…lingerie, pampering products, fun things to take with her on her honeymoon, etc.
If she wants gifts off her registry – easy. Buy her a gift off her registry. Some couples are just starting out and really need all that stuff, so even if it seems boring, know that you’re buying something to help them make a home.
**Can I buy combination gift for the shower and wedding? NO! No one ever wants to get a combo gift. Just don’t do it.
**Should I buy a wedding gift off the registry, or should I get creative? I think either is fine here. If you are short on cash, get creative. For the wedding, the bride and groom are going to receive tons of gifts from their registry, so a few sentimental gifts from their bridal party will be fun for them. One of my couples was given the musical notes from their first dance – printed out, and framed the page with a photo from their first dance. The photo is still hanging in their house, and is a great reminder of their special day. If you spend a lot of time with the bride and groom, you could also put together a photo album that tells the story of their relationship, and leave room to add photos of the wedding and honeymoon.
**Do I have to buy a gift for the bachelorette party? Yes, but just something small and fun. You know what to do – get online and have fun with this. Just be respectful of your bride. If she is very conservative, there are plenty of fun gifts that will not make her feel uncomfortable.
It’s the same every year in Arizona – we’re bragging about our amazing weather, then like a train out of nowhere, the unbearable heat hits us without warning. It was in the 50′s just a couple weekends ago, and now we’ve already hit triple digits!
There are a lot of outdoor spring weddings in Arizona, and one thing we can’t control is the weather. Here are some tips for making the heat a little more bearable…
1) Bring a cooler with ice packs to have available while outdoor photos are being taken. An ice pack on the back of the neck, feet, and wrists can provide relief.
2) Stay inside in the air conditioning until you absolutely have to go outside -this seems obvious, but there are so many bridal parties who suffer through standing around in the heat when they could run indoors to escape for a couple minutes.
3) Take your heels off unless there are photos being taken. Feet tend to swell much more quickly in high heels.
4) Drink water! Throw a bunch in the cooler with your ice packs. Skip the champagne until later – it will just make you feel tired in the heat.
5) Bring umbrellas for the bridal party – if you have to stand in the heat, these can provide shade.
If the wedding is outside, you’ll have to suffer through it, but it won’t be as bad if you’ve taken care to stay cool before the ceremony. 
Let’s face it, as appreciative as you are for all the wonderful gifts you’re receiving for your wedding, the thought of writing thank you notes can be a daunting task. It’s something you absolutely need to do, and of course you want to thank everyone for their thoughtfulness. My biggest tip – don’t put it off!
It’s a good idea to do things to save time so that you can focus on writing a thoughtful and sincere note to each person who sends you a gift. One way to do this is to have your invitation vendor or calligraphist pre-print or pre-write an extra set of envelopes for everyone on your guest list. Will it cost you more money? Yes. Will you be so happy not to have to write all those addresses? For sure. If using a calligraphist, the thank-you card envelopes don’t have to actually be in calligraphy like the invites – perhaps they charge a smaller amount for simple printing? Just ask.
If that’s not in the budget, this is where your bridesmaids can come in. Host an evening at your house with some wine and appetizers, then put on some old Sex and the City re-runs, and get to addressing envelopes! Splitting up the work will get it done quickly, and it’s a great excuse to get the girls together.
When it comes to actually writing the thank you card, make sure it’s a task that you and your fiance share. You can either split it up by him writing to his friends/family and you writing to yours. Or just split it up as the gifts come in – one for you, one for him.
Next, be specific and heartfelt in your thank you notes. Even though you’re writing many many cards, the person receiving the card is only receiving that one. Thank them specifically for the gift they sent, and even add a couple sentences about how you’re going to use it or where it will be displayed in your house. People love to give gives, but we also all really love to be genuinely thanked.
Lastly, I love the idea of sending thank-you’s with a personalized photo, like these from Tiny Prints. You can order the envelopes to address ahead of time, then order the cards once you have your wedding photos.
Another idea, if you want to send thank you’s as the gifts arrive, is to order a card similar to the ones below and use images from your engagement photo session.They’re still personalized, but you can get them before the wedding and get those thank you’s out promptly as gifts arrive.
One of the major decisions you and your fiance have to make while planning your wedding is whether you’ll use traditional wedding vows or if you’ll write your own. More and more of my couples are choosing to write their own because it adds such a personal and sweet touch to the ceremony.
In all the hustle and bustle of planning your wedding, it can become very overwhelming to think about finding the time and some quite space to sit down and write your wedding vows. You have one shot to say all the things you want to say to the person you’re promising your life to, which can definitely add to that little thing we call writer’s block. But never fear! Writing your wedding vows can be a breeze if you just follow these simple words of advice…
Write from your heart. Don’t over think what you want to say. You can go back and change anything or everything later – just write what you feel.
Decide on your writing voice: Do you want your vows to be deep and meaningful, light and humorous, or a combination of those? Whatever voice you decided on, make sure it complements who you are as an individual, and as a couple.
Think about how you felt when you first met. What was the first thing that attracted you to your spouse to be? Those eyes, that laugh, something unique or humorous that happened?
Talk about the little things. Does he go out to buy your favorite ice cream when he knows you need it? Perhaps you get coffee made just right and brought to you in bed every morning. Or maybe, even after a long time together, he still opens the doors for you. Little things add up to a lot in love, and recognizing those will make him feel appreciated (plus it will remind him to keep doing those things when you’re married).
Reminisce about the moment you fell in love. We all remember this moment, and it’s such a sweet thing to share out loud. Be detailed because this is a huge part of why you’re getting married. And don’t be afraid to be funny here. I’ve heard some hilarious stories of how men and women knew they were in love, so just tell it raw and honestly.
Recognize what this person does to inspire and support you. Some of the greatest marriages I know of are built on having a best friend who ‘has your back’. What does your spouse to be do or say to encourage you to be successful or accomplished? How do they inspire you and support you through good and difficult times?
State the promises you’re making. From loving and supporting each other through all life has to throw at you, to laughing at each others’ bad jokes, you are making promises on this day that will last your lifetime together. Those promises should be honest and truthful, and include both the major parts of life, and the little things that make your relationship unique.
Practice out loud. Even when we’re alone, this can feel awkward, but it’s important. You’re going to be nervous and full of emotion as you stand up there looking into each others’ eyes (and with all your guests watching), so practicing a few times will make you feel much more at ease. Plus, the words will flow more naturally and you’ll recall them more easily, giving you more opportunity to look into each others’ eyes instead of just reading off the paper. With that said, it doesn’t have to be perfect! If you flub a little during the ceremony, who cares. It’s part of the sweetness and honesty of it all.
Keep your vows in a safe place on your wedding day. Give them to your wedding planner, mom, or maid of honor so that you don’t lose track of that precious little piece of paper.
